Go In Any Direction

Here we have Go West, a wild west-themed shooting gallery. Featuring cowboy actors such as "Constipated" John Wayne...

...and, erm... sharp-shootin' Sean Connery as legendary cowboy hero James Bond?

Actually, I'm not sure whether that's meant to be Sean Connery or Roger Moore, or some bastard love-child of the two. More genetic experiments? I think we should be told.

Unlicenced Cartoon Artwork is Mandatory

Artist: "So, this is my idea for the hall of mirrors design. How about a used car salesman with four eyes holding up mirrors to two monkeys who are laughing at themselves in the mirrors?"
Owner: "And where will Donald Duck go?"
Artist: "Donald Duck?"
Owner: "Yeah, it's a fairground stall.  You've got to have a Disney character on there somewhere."
Artist: "But that doesn't fit in with this design at all."
Owner: "I don't care, just stick him in somewhere. Anywhere. On that mirror."
Artist: "But that's meant to have a monkey in it!"
Owner: "Look, I'll be drummed out of the union if I turn up to a fair without some Disney on there somewhere!"
Artist: "Well, it compromises my artistic integrity... hang on, I don't have any. Donald Duck it is!"

Genetics Lesson

Question: What do you get if you cross Marilyn Monroe with Lynne Perry (aka Ivy Tilsley from Coronation Street)?

Answer: You get this monstrosity... (click image to enlarge)

Those aren't good thoughts you're having now, are they?


Thanks to Glen Pearson for sending this in!

Little Shop of Horrors

Take a quick glance and this painting might look alright. But look at it for more than, say, two seconds and you'll start to wonder about the bog-eyed pinhead grinning creepily inside the shop, the giant children who are taller than the shop door, and the vague anatomy of all involved.

Or maybe they aren't really children at tall, but aliens masquerading as humans in order to enact some evil plan to eat human brains? The girl seems to have a woman's face, and the boy has a smile that says you aren't walking out of here with your brain intact. The look on the face of the man in the shop is testament to that.


UPDATE! Thanks to commenter Bernardo who noticed that the shopkeeper and Bolivian President Evo Morales could be very closely related...

King of Pap

Okay, so this isn't really fairground art, but it is 'art' found at a fairground so I reckon it's near enough.

I have no strong opinions about Michael Jackson, and I know that the world+dog has been cashing in on his death, but this example of deathsploitation seems particularly tacky to me. It's a Michael Jackson cushion, which you can win by playing various naff fairground games.

The naffest thing about this is that they've spent all of five minutes on the design. It's a plain white cushion with a print. They've even used Cooper Black as the font! Something tells me the people behind this might not have the high regard for Michael Jackson that their cushion claims.

Who chooses this as a prize? Does someone really have this on their sofa? If you do, please let us know!

101 Leech-Infested Dog-Rabbit Hybrids

Today's post comes courtesy of librarianishish.com via Flickr, and it's a corker! From a distance, it looks like an averagely bad 101 Dalmatians painting.

Up close, however, things turn nasty. It's as if the artist quickly got tired of painting Dalmatian spots and simply started blobbling black paint on as quickly as they could. Actually, perhaps the whole thing was painted in a massive hurry...

PS. The title of this post was nicked from a comment on the photo's Flickr page. I couldn't come up with a better one!

Thanks to all who've recently found this blog, to the followers, and to those who have commented - it's good to know that the blog is being enjoyed!

Here's a painting of Trevor Chaplin (the brother of the more famous Charlie) looking at the cleavage of Beryl Scoggins (the low-budget Marilyn Monroe lookalike).  Beryl was originally holding a pint of bitter but the artist has cleverly changed it into a beaker of wine.  It looks more classy that way.

You Love The Spaghetti Sauce, Capiche?

You know how it is.  You've been at the fair all day, enjoying the overpriced rides and unlicensed merchandise, and you want something to eat.  But you don't want a burger, or six gherkins for the price of five.  You want overcooked spaghetti with sauce in a cup, served by escaped convicts wearing huge hats and shirts which once were white but are now so blood-spattered that they're mostly red.

"Mmm... delicious.  More goddamn wine!"

"I think you've had quite enough, dear.  Let's not make a scene."

American Diner, Ja?

Hello Americans!  The person who designed this hot dog stand believes this to be an American Diner. Please, are your diners really like this? Do they have huge-mouthed Marilyn Monroes and tiny-headed James Deans painted on the side?

While we're on the subject of food stands, here's another that caught my eye:

Where else but Germany would you find a place selling nothing but gherkins? I love them in a sandwich, but can't imagine buying six (for the price of five!) to eat while walking.

If you're ever at Dresden-Neustadt station, you'll find a cured meat stall in the middle of the concourse, covered in huge hanging sausages. Just the pick-me-up for the weary traveller or sleepy commuter.

Please Hammer don't hurt Alf

This isn't the worst fairground art by a long shot - MC Hammer's shoulders are quite weird and his glasses aren't right, apart from which it's quite good - but my American-pop-culturometer estimates this artwork to be roughly 19 years old. I wonder what children make of these strange figures? Or perhaps it's meant to attract thirty-somethings? I've no idea.

Naked woman kissing mutilated tiger

Somebody somewhere thought that this was relevant and appropriate for a children's fairground ride. It's kinda like an 18-rated version of one of those Jehovah's Witness leaflets where the lion is laying down with the lamb, except here it's the naked woman snogging the tiger. Sign me up!

Bad to the Future

The universe seems to need balance, good and evil, day and night, yin and yang.

I can demonstrate this using two fairground art versions of the promotional poster for Back to the Future Part 2. This artwork represents goodness, truth and light (apart from Marty McFly's eyes)...

...and this 'artwork' definitely represent the deepest, vilest evil...

There's a saying, "the devil is in the detail." Here, the devil is in the lack of detail.

I love Baskelball and Players!

At first glance, this stall appears to be basketball-themed. But on closer inspection, it really pays tribute to the similar but little-known game of Baskelball. On the right-hand side, you'll find the obligatory 'sexy woman' image, and boy does she like Baskelball... and Players!

Actually, I'm not sure that is a woman, more a collection of body parts thrown together. And not necessarily in the right order.

Up top, there's a collection of the Baskelball Players that Ms. Frankenstein likes so much, including these two...

Now I don't know much about sport, but it seems that in Baskelball the Players score points by sticking their tongue out while jumping and grabbing their crotch. The uniform is a vest top and a pencil skirt.

Also, it's a very inclusive sport - one of the top players is a transvestite dwarf with size 18 feet. Beyond that, the stall is short on specifics. But I'm sure it's a thrilling game, and I can't wait until the Baskelball World Cup!