Not A Proper Post Again

It's been a week or so since I've posted anything, as I've been moving house (still!).  It was a bigger task than expected, as it always is, but I'm back again!

Keep those photos coming in, and I'll be visiting some fairs myself over the next few weeks to get some more bad fairground art.  Bonfire Night is in a few days time, so I expect to be getting some good photos from the UK.

Thanks for reading!

Beverly Hills 9-Oh-What-The-Hell

I know that Luke Perry for has a big forehead, but surely it's not really this big?! This was taken in Prague in 2008, by the way, which makes it seem even stranger to me.

Hello if you are from California by the way, which judging from the web stats is by far the most common location of visitors to this site.  Consider this my homage to you, and to all those with big foreheads, wonky chins and/or cheap stereos.


Thanks to Dark Beige for sending this in!

Sonic Bunny and Bugs The Hedgehog

This is what would happen if you melted Sonic the Hedgehog in a microwave for three minutes on full power.

And this is what Bugs Bunny might look like if you were on drugs and, as a result, mistaking a real rabbit for Bugs Bunny. That probably explains the Easter eggs floating above his head as well.

Thanks to Bambino Tostare for these!

Don't Try This At Home... Or In Public

Some of you may have seen this ride (no pun intended) on Fail Blog a few months ago, but I've been sent a photo of it and it's so bizarre that it's definitely worth posting here.

Whatever questions this photo raises for you, I can only offer "paint fumes" as the answer.

Thanks to Lisa Watkins for sending this in!

This Is Not The Simpsons

There's an alternate universe where Matt Groening is a luckless alcoholic who paints random images on abandoned walls. That's where this photo is from. Could there be another explanation for Mr. Burns' huge teeth and long hair, or for Homer Simpson's right hand flipper?

Thanks to Will Mack for this!

Hairy Potter

Oh dear oh dear... what have we here? Harry Potter aged 80? I think JK Rowling would find it hard to claim copyright infringement here as there's very little likeness to any of the characters in her books.

You can click the image above for the full-sized horror, but I've zoomed in on the worst bit below to save you the bother...

Thanks to Becky E for this photo!

Not A Proper Post

Hello everyone!

Sorry for the lack of posts this week -  I'm in the middle of moving house, which I'm sure you know is a pain in the ass.

Normal service will be resumed... well, now, actually!

Intellectual Property Lawyer Hell

These photos come courtesy of Russell Davies who quite rightly points out that intellectual property lawyers must have a dreadful time at fairgrounds. "It must be especially tough if you work for Disney," he says.

I love the way Fred Flintstone is floating in this one...

...and how Winnie the Pooh is enormous in this picture - he could eat Mickey for breakfast!

Thanks Russell!

Something For The Kids To Aspire To

Though the executioner in this photo has a ludicrously massive chest, he also has a petite lady's ankles, which must mean this guy experiences terrible pain whenever he walks.

Also note the woman's extremely long thighs. She could run away from this guy easily, if only it wasn't for that damn rope!

Also from the same fair (in Missouri) is this photo. To me, there's something slightly strange about inflatable guns with the stars and stripes flag on them.

Though maybe I've got it all wrong - perhaps they're freedom rifles, which shoot liberty bullets. Take that, you reds!


Thanks to Kristen for sending these in!

Hey, high pockets? Win something for your girlfriend?

Don,t hvae a cwo' nam?

Thanks to Chris Applegate of qwghlm.co.uk for the photo!

It's What's On The Inside That Counts

Kids, let this be a warning to you  -  this is what happens when you cut open your belly to reveal your intestines while starring in a 1980s music video!

Now don't do it again!


Thanks to librarianishish.com for the photo!

Bird Stuck on a Wire for 19 Years

I'll acknowledge that Arnold Schwartzenegger as the Terminator is an enduring image, but I'm not sure how many children  -  or adults, for that matter  -  get excited about going on the Bird on a Wire ride almost 20 years after the film came out.  I doubt this would have drawn people to the ride back in 1990!  This painting's not so bad really, though Mel and Goldie seem to be unwashed in this painting.  (Compare with the original.)

Thanks to Glen Pearson for sending this one in!

Just Wrong

I'm at a loss to know what to say about this picture, it's so bizarre, so I'll just shut up and show you the picture.

Is your brow furrowed now, too?


Thanks to Mark Lavallee for sending this in!

Another Real Thing You've Gotten Me Into

I'm posting late today, so to make up for it here's two...

First up, here's Stan Laurel and he really doesn't feel too well:

In fact, I think he's about to be sick! (Click for the full-size photo.)

Perhaps he's been on this ride:

I hate to disappoint anyone thinking of going on this ride, but that ain't flying into space. In fact, isn't the whole point of these rides that they're not the real thing?

Go In Any Direction

Here we have Go West, a wild west-themed shooting gallery. Featuring cowboy actors such as "Constipated" John Wayne...

...and, erm... sharp-shootin' Sean Connery as legendary cowboy hero James Bond?

Actually, I'm not sure whether that's meant to be Sean Connery or Roger Moore, or some bastard love-child of the two. More genetic experiments? I think we should be told.

Unlicenced Cartoon Artwork is Mandatory

Artist: "So, this is my idea for the hall of mirrors design. How about a used car salesman with four eyes holding up mirrors to two monkeys who are laughing at themselves in the mirrors?"
Owner: "And where will Donald Duck go?"
Artist: "Donald Duck?"
Owner: "Yeah, it's a fairground stall.  You've got to have a Disney character on there somewhere."
Artist: "But that doesn't fit in with this design at all."
Owner: "I don't care, just stick him in somewhere. Anywhere. On that mirror."
Artist: "But that's meant to have a monkey in it!"
Owner: "Look, I'll be drummed out of the union if I turn up to a fair without some Disney on there somewhere!"
Artist: "Well, it compromises my artistic integrity... hang on, I don't have any. Donald Duck it is!"

Genetics Lesson

Question: What do you get if you cross Marilyn Monroe with Lynne Perry (aka Ivy Tilsley from Coronation Street)?

Answer: You get this monstrosity... (click image to enlarge)

Those aren't good thoughts you're having now, are they?


Thanks to Glen Pearson for sending this in!

Little Shop of Horrors

Take a quick glance and this painting might look alright. But look at it for more than, say, two seconds and you'll start to wonder about the bog-eyed pinhead grinning creepily inside the shop, the giant children who are taller than the shop door, and the vague anatomy of all involved.

Or maybe they aren't really children at tall, but aliens masquerading as humans in order to enact some evil plan to eat human brains? The girl seems to have a woman's face, and the boy has a smile that says you aren't walking out of here with your brain intact. The look on the face of the man in the shop is testament to that.


UPDATE! Thanks to commenter Bernardo who noticed that the shopkeeper and Bolivian President Evo Morales could be very closely related...

King of Pap

Okay, so this isn't really fairground art, but it is 'art' found at a fairground so I reckon it's near enough.

I have no strong opinions about Michael Jackson, and I know that the world+dog has been cashing in on his death, but this example of deathsploitation seems particularly tacky to me. It's a Michael Jackson cushion, which you can win by playing various naff fairground games.

The naffest thing about this is that they've spent all of five minutes on the design. It's a plain white cushion with a print. They've even used Cooper Black as the font! Something tells me the people behind this might not have the high regard for Michael Jackson that their cushion claims.

Who chooses this as a prize? Does someone really have this on their sofa? If you do, please let us know!

101 Leech-Infested Dog-Rabbit Hybrids

Today's post comes courtesy of librarianishish.com via Flickr, and it's a corker! From a distance, it looks like an averagely bad 101 Dalmatians painting.

Up close, however, things turn nasty. It's as if the artist quickly got tired of painting Dalmatian spots and simply started blobbling black paint on as quickly as they could. Actually, perhaps the whole thing was painted in a massive hurry...

PS. The title of this post was nicked from a comment on the photo's Flickr page. I couldn't come up with a better one!

Thanks to all who've recently found this blog, to the followers, and to those who have commented - it's good to know that the blog is being enjoyed!

Here's a painting of Trevor Chaplin (the brother of the more famous Charlie) looking at the cleavage of Beryl Scoggins (the low-budget Marilyn Monroe lookalike).  Beryl was originally holding a pint of bitter but the artist has cleverly changed it into a beaker of wine.  It looks more classy that way.

You Love The Spaghetti Sauce, Capiche?

You know how it is.  You've been at the fair all day, enjoying the overpriced rides and unlicensed merchandise, and you want something to eat.  But you don't want a burger, or six gherkins for the price of five.  You want overcooked spaghetti with sauce in a cup, served by escaped convicts wearing huge hats and shirts which once were white but are now so blood-spattered that they're mostly red.

"Mmm... delicious.  More goddamn wine!"

"I think you've had quite enough, dear.  Let's not make a scene."

American Diner, Ja?

Hello Americans!  The person who designed this hot dog stand believes this to be an American Diner. Please, are your diners really like this? Do they have huge-mouthed Marilyn Monroes and tiny-headed James Deans painted on the side?

While we're on the subject of food stands, here's another that caught my eye:

Where else but Germany would you find a place selling nothing but gherkins? I love them in a sandwich, but can't imagine buying six (for the price of five!) to eat while walking.

If you're ever at Dresden-Neustadt station, you'll find a cured meat stall in the middle of the concourse, covered in huge hanging sausages. Just the pick-me-up for the weary traveller or sleepy commuter.

Please Hammer don't hurt Alf

This isn't the worst fairground art by a long shot - MC Hammer's shoulders are quite weird and his glasses aren't right, apart from which it's quite good - but my American-pop-culturometer estimates this artwork to be roughly 19 years old. I wonder what children make of these strange figures? Or perhaps it's meant to attract thirty-somethings? I've no idea.

Naked woman kissing mutilated tiger

Somebody somewhere thought that this was relevant and appropriate for a children's fairground ride. It's kinda like an 18-rated version of one of those Jehovah's Witness leaflets where the lion is laying down with the lamb, except here it's the naked woman snogging the tiger. Sign me up!

Bad to the Future

The universe seems to need balance, good and evil, day and night, yin and yang.

I can demonstrate this using two fairground art versions of the promotional poster for Back to the Future Part 2. This artwork represents goodness, truth and light (apart from Marty McFly's eyes)...

...and this 'artwork' definitely represent the deepest, vilest evil...

There's a saying, "the devil is in the detail." Here, the devil is in the lack of detail.

I love Baskelball and Players!

At first glance, this stall appears to be basketball-themed. But on closer inspection, it really pays tribute to the similar but little-known game of Baskelball. On the right-hand side, you'll find the obligatory 'sexy woman' image, and boy does she like Baskelball... and Players!

Actually, I'm not sure that is a woman, more a collection of body parts thrown together. And not necessarily in the right order.

Up top, there's a collection of the Baskelball Players that Ms. Frankenstein likes so much, including these two...

Now I don't know much about sport, but it seems that in Baskelball the Players score points by sticking their tongue out while jumping and grabbing their crotch. The uniform is a vest top and a pencil skirt.

Also, it's a very inclusive sport - one of the top players is a transvestite dwarf with size 18 feet. Beyond that, the stall is short on specifics. But I'm sure it's a thrilling game, and I can't wait until the Baskelball World Cup!